A tale of 4 sandals

While we were on vacation we struggled with how to feel on vacation.  

What are things that you have done to include your children in heaven with you on vacation?

This is what we started doing on our first vacation after Audrey passed.  This past week we returned from our second vacation without Audrey, a 10 day trip to Croatia.

A tale of 4 sandals

Last week, we returned from our vacation to Croatia.  During this amazing time, I tried to be intentional to think of things that reminded me of Audrey on the trip  As we left the capital of Croatia, Zagreb, and were headed for Plitvice Lakes National Park, I wrote in my journal to Audrey.  Plitvice Lakes is known for it's waterfalls, so I wrote to Audrey how much I loved seeing waterfalls with her.  Below on the left right is a waterfall at Pictured Rocks National Lakeshore in Michigan.

 

All three of us had ways of remembering Audrey on this trip.  Hannah wore her "Mirabel" dress that reminds her of Audrey.  This picture of Hannah reminds me a lot of Dree. 


Hannah and Mandy lighting a candle for Audrey at Stone Gate chapel in Zagreb.


All trip, we got snacks at the local stores.  We always picked up Seka and Braco candy bars.  The Seka has a girl on it, and the Braco has a boy on it.  We called them boy and girl chocolate. It wasn't until we got home, and Hannah was eating her final Seka bar that we discovered that Seka was slang for sister.

Today, I want to focus on the way that Hannah, Mandy and I connect with Audrey on our family vacations.  When we were planning our New York trip over Thanksgiving (first trip after Audrey passed), we collaborated to create the tradition of leaving Audrey's footwear.  Audrey loved going shoeless, and on vacation, there were more than a few examples of how Audrey dramatically tried to free her feet from her shoes. Here's two (of many):

1. March 2022-
Audrey and I rode Space Mountain together.  I was given the directive of holding Audrey to make sure she was secure.  It was terrifying holding Audrey worried that she would fall out.   While I was holding her with all my might, she reached for her right sandal and threw it in the air.  I briefly let go of her shoulder with my right hand, and I somehow grabbed her sandal out of the air.   We had to document my achievement with a photo.  Audrey took the opportunity to kick off her other sandal as I was posing.


2. July 2022- About 25 minutes after we took that waterfall picture at Pictured Rocks, Audrey (still in the backpack carrier) jettisoned her sandals by intentionally kicking them off into the most inconvenient canyon off the trail.  Aunt Megan was a trooper (and eventually awarded a Jr. Park Ranger) and fished out the sandals.
The day after thanksgiving 2023, we left Audrey's boots in Central Park  And so our vacation tradition was born.  We would bring Audrey with us by leaving her footwear behind just like she always tried to do.  And since she always had a knack of choosing interesting places to try to leave her footwear, we always choose a meaningful place.  We also leave a note and her memorial stones.

The tale of four sandals started on day 5 of our vacation as we arrived in Hvar Town, Hvar Island.  Our resort was a beautiful beach resort on the Adriatic Sea.  
Hannah was so excited to swim in the Adriatic Sea.  In fact, she told many of our family in postcards that her favorite part of the vacation was swimming in the sea even though she hadn't even done it yet.  So, we got in swim suits, did some pool swimming, and then made our way to the sea.  Hannah was swimming and having fun, then she saw all the older kids jumping off the dock.  So, she had me come with her to dock to help her back to the dock after jumping in.  I ran into the sea Bay Watch style, but my Tevas that I was wearing fell off.  I attached them again, but they kept falling off.  So, I grabbed them, and put them on the dock.  As I did that, Hannah spotted a jellyfish, and decided not to jump in.  So, I grabbed my Tevas and swam to the beach.   I didn't think about it then, but I shed my sandals like  Audrey had on so many vacations (and every day events) before.

We got up and planned to kayak across the channel to Marinkovac Island.  We had the guide help us get across the channel which had huge ferries and cruise ships crossing.  It was pretty terrifying getting across it with Hannah in the front of the kayak.

As we ate lunch, the bar played only Tupac songs.  When we finished, we walked from the bar to the location that we chose to leave Audrey's sandals.  It was beautiful and you had to remove your shoes to enter.  It was Audrey's kind of place.
Yes, those are the same sandals from Space Mountain.  Both rides were equally terrifying.
We walked into the cove of beds and left Audrey's sandals and memorial stones on that bed.
As we placed the sandals, "Thugz Mansion" by Tupac was next up on the bar playlist.  The 2002 song which was posthumously released contains Tupac's introspective lyrics on his alternative heaven.  Some of those introspective lyrics include a letter to his mom that he is doing good: "Dear Mama, don't cry, your baby boys doing good."  I would love affirmation from Audrey that she is doing good.  I have to live on faith that Audrey is doing great things in heaven walking around with no shoes on.  During her life, she couldn't articulate things like this to us.


I have struggled with this.  But I know that during Audrey's life, we could tell a lot of things about who she was by channels other than her verbally articulating them.  And I can be certain that Dree's Mansion included princesses, ice cream, and no shoes.  Until I see her again, I know that she is in God's house in one of his many rooms.






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