HEHAS RUG HAVE LOSME

I referenced Jeremiah 29:11 in my second post way back in January.


This was one of my favorite tee shirts of Audrey's, because it really defined Audrey.  I know that god has big plans for her.  And seeing the way that she fought so hard to communicate and hone her other skills that were diminished because of her seizures.

Jeremiah 29:11 is one of the scriptures I have kept going back to.


That day in church, the translation was slightly different than Audrey's shirt.  Words can matter, and sometimes translation can change how things are.  Over the last few months, I have wrestled with these words.   

However, let's fast go back to late December and early January.  We made it through Christmas, and on December 26, stores made the switch from Christmas to New Year's tchotchkes and Valentine's stuff.  If I didn't get the hint in the aisles, my Facebook algorithm definitely had me pegged.  Ads for personalized Lego sets were popping up all over my feed.  Much like planning a vacation before the current one is over, I wanted to make sure my bases were covered, so I pulled the trigger on getting Hannah a "Dree Dree" Lego set.  I ordered this set around early January when I also uploaded the picture of Dree for my blog post.

I should have known.  The website was one that I was not familiar with, and it offered a "draft picture" of the set for like $3 extra.  I thought that it wouldn't be a problem, so I didn't need to see the draft first. I can already imagine which of my friends and family may have judged me for not double checking, but that's not the point.   I opened the box to look at it before it came in February, and I saw another translation of Jeremiah 29:11 : HEHAS RUG HAS LOSME.



HEHAS RUG HAS LOSME has become more than an inside joke for us.  It's become part of Audrey.

Audrey is still such an integral part of us, and she has always had to do things differently.

To Audrey: Gross was "Gro" and Disgusting was "Digigih"
Jeff (mimicking when Mandy would yell for me) was "Giraffe"
Disney was "DeeDee"
Love You was "Wu"

We watch videos daily to remember your beautiful words.
We love your vocabulary.  Now HEHAS RUG HAS LOSME has become one of those phrases.

Wu, Dada

Comments

Post a Comment

Popular posts from this blog

The last first? Sometimes the second is harder than the first.

Image
I started writing this post on Monday July 15th after experiencing many firsts and seconds on as we approach the anniversary of Audrey leaving for heaven.   This post took me over three weeks to write.  I had to think about why it took so long and the truth is, I am not on the same calendar that I used to be. I knew the fourth of July was going to be hard.  Audrey loved the fourth.  On social media, Mandy posted pictures of Audrey enjoying all of her summer favorites.  From June 26th to July 4th, Mandy posted a different picture of Audrey's summer favorites.  Starting on July 1st, she posted a daily picture of Audrey loving the fourth of July. Those pictures meant a lot and meant a lot to see Audrey's loved ones interact and share summer memories.  When Mandy took Hannah to the bathroom, I looked to my phone to look at pictures of Audrey.  I was surprised when I found this picture. This picture made me smile for many reasons 1. It encapsulate...
Read more

It Doesn’t Get Any Easier (Amanda's)

Image
  When we first lost Audrey, people often said, or we read in grief books, how in child loss it doesn’t get any easier. There was always some variation of:  It’s hard to know what “it doesn’t really ever get any easier” means when you’re first in the throws of it though, and the shock is so intense. I’ve also come to understand that for me, personally, the shock has been profound and longer lasting than for some others. 15 months in, it’s still really hard for me to grasp most days that Audrey is gone, and that it’s permanent. But it truly isn’t any easier than it was in those first weeks. Which is really hard to fathom if you think about it- How can our world still be as rocked and shaken as it was then, how can this still be as painful and sad and traumatic as then?- Yet it still is. The sadness seems only to grow deeper and the fullness of missing all of who Audrey is continues to grow in our lives. Our family wasn’t complete before she came into our lives, and now we a...
Read more

(Amanda's) Disorganized Thoughts- Approaching One Year

Image
I can’t believe it’s almost been a year without Audrey. I’ve tried several times in the past year to write, but I can never quite put my thoughts together into anything coherent to share. Many of you that are closest to me have listened to me attempt to share about grief in the past year- I appreciate your patience and understanding as I ramble on, sometimes with emotion and sometimes without, tend to ruminate over the same thoughts again and again, and try to capture the ways that I am missing Audrey, which are so hard to convey into words. I find the sadness becoming heavier again as the anniversary approaches. I try to focus on what my faith says is true about where Audrey is now and about how God loves and holds her, but the sadness and trauma of the events replay often. The natural rhythms of events that recur annually feel like counting down this year, reliving and replaying our ‘last’ of whichever special time it was with Audrey, leading up to August 7 th -10 th , and what...
Read more